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All hail Queen B

STRIKE A POSE: Jasmine and Beyonce

SONY Music kick started the week with a fabulous function. The New Bond Street Armani store was transformed into a mini music festival – albeit a VIP one, complete with vodka cocktails and fashionistas aplenty!

In amongst the uber expensive clothing rails were chic biker jackets, skinny jeans and killer heels. The music and fashion crowd – when not air kissing and tweeting on iPhones – also managed to enjoy great performances from Sony artists Aloe Blacc, Oh Land and Lissie.

Food and drinks were being served for a specially invited audience of 200 guests, and even though indie or country music isn’t usually my bag, I had to admit that live music in all it's forms is always impressive when coupled with fabulous people and fake grass carpets!

Then, as if to cement their status as the record label that has always thrown the most fabulous parties, Sony scored another goal with a fabulous event that preceded a concert by Miss Beyonce Knowles.

I know I’ve said VIP before but seriously even I was impressed to speechless! Stepping out of their various modes of transport were folks including Ozwald Boateng, Piers Morgan, Ridley Scott, Stella McCartney, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ewan McGregor, Jude Law and more.

Inside were Wretch32, Tinie Tempah, Adele, Alexandra Burke, Alexis Jordan, JLS, Jessie J, Mr Hudson and many others.

Beyoncé came on quite late, but no one cared as it was like a huge catch up party in the venue. When she did make her grand entrance, the crowd erupted. They’d already become hysterical spotting Jigga in the balcony and chanted “Jay Z” like the best football fans would. Bey played a few songs from her new album 4, as well as delivering hits by other musicians, including Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody.

At the VVIP after party, for only 100 people, DJ Jarren C spun the music in the very small backstage bar. Though the bar is tiny, it was full of A-listers including Jigga, Bey and team RocNation.

Early in the night when Jay and I were speaking, I thought it only polite to introduce him to those standing eagerly next to me dying for him to simply acknowledge their existence. After he graciously shook hands with them all, it was like the Obama effect with all of them gushing with delight. One even exclaimed “Oh my gosh, his hands are so soft, it’s as if they’ve been bathed in silk!’’

Expectedly there were a few music industry newbies and oldies who still hadn’t learnt that at a function like this, it’s not very polite, credible or classy to stand around Bey and Jay like stalkers and gawp or try and get a picture. Awkward and cringeworthy!

HARVEY GETS A ROASTING

HACKNEY EMPIRE recently played host to the now regular Comedy Roast UK, where a well known face agrees to sit on a red velvet throne for a couple of hours and get playfully ridiculed by a panel of five comedians.

Past victims have included Richard Blackwood, Robbie Gee and Mohammed George from EastEnders. This time, it was someone who really had comedy lovers’ lips watering – it was time to sock it to Harvey.

Yes he, the So Solid sweetboy who wed the nation’s sweetheart Alesha Dixon only to mess up publicly and have an affair with Javine Hylton. So, as you can imagine, he got a serious roasting!

Axel the Entertainer, Kane Brown, Kevin J, Funmbi, Jamie Howard were the roasters, while host Richard Blackwood kept the show in order.

Axel dissed Harvey by referring to him as fellow So Solid member Neutrino. And as Neutrino was actually in the audience, that made for a double diss!

Axel then addressed the Harvey-Alesha-Javine scandal, continuously referring to the latter as “gap tooth Javine.”
Throughout all this, Harvey was drinking alcohol hard. I wondered how he would manage to come up with a retort diss at the end with his brain soaked in alcohol. Still, the cusses continued to fly thick and fast, with Funmbi quipping: “Harvey reps south London but was born in Devon – how gangster is that!"

All the comics were mean but it was newcomer Jamie Howard who really shone with his sharp and hilarious cusses. And, impressively, when it was Harv's time to fire back, he cussed Richard Blackwood about his bankrupt days; joked about giving the white comedians equal opportunities; and basically gave as good as he got in an articulate manner.

I always thought Harvey was held back by his own issues. He has so many options and doors open to him, yet he’s had so many wasted opportunities. I’ve clashed with him in the past when we worked together. He had the decency to admit his errors and apologise. I do admire his passion but I wonder if it will all end in his pain.

Harv finished off by thanking everyone and requesting that the crowd buy his new single featuring Gyptian, which is out on July 21. (Gotta give a brother a break with a plug!)

Jasmine Dotiwala is a TV producer, director and broadcast journalist. Email her at jasmine@hiphop.com

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