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Beating disappointment

WHETHER YOU are the ‘disappointed’ or the ‘disappointer’, this article is designed to help you understand the energy of disappointment and give you insight into what you can do about it.

Every emotional state we experience is the result of the thoughts we hold. Disappointment is about holding on to outcomes or unfulfilled expectations. Your disappointment is a divine messenger, warning you that too much thought has been given to the outcome. It asks you to clarify your expectations.

Disappointment is a destructive energy. It breaks things down. Disappointment is an unproductive energy and it creates a sense of feeling stuck. Our job is to transform the emotional breakdown of disappointment into a breakthrough, and work with the energy of disappointment to achieve a productive emotional state. The goal is for you to enjoy the process. Here are some questions intended to help you in this process.

If you are the ‘disappointed’, ask yourself:

Was I clear about what I wanted from the interaction?

Why was I so attached to the outcome in the first place?

What did I think this outcome was going to do for me?

Was I asking someone to do something for me that I could have done for myself?

How will I benefit from letting this go?

Did I give away my power by not taking responsibility for myself or by protecting my boundaries?

If you are the ‘disappointer’, ask yourself:

Was I clear about what I was giving?

Did I maintain integrity with my word?

Was I offering to do something for another that only they had the power to do for themselves?

Did I do my best?

Did I take action to make the situation better for everyone involved?

What are my regrets – and what can I do about them?

Did I give something that was not truthful for me to give?

Here are some suggestions intended to keep you out of the disappointment zone, whether you are disappointed or the person making others disappointed:

Clarity, clarity, clarity

Work with the energy of clarity! Be clear about all of your arrangements. Ask questions if you do not understand. Trust your intuition. If something does not seem right to you, question it.

Give truthfully

Give what you can give freely. Do not give with any expectation or agenda. Give because it feels good to do so. Give because it creates space. Give because it validates your abundance. Give for today, not for a future moment. Giving is for you, not the other person.

Keep your word

Your words are powerful. Use them wisely. Make sure you can follow through with what you say. If you have any question about your ability to follow through, do not extend your word. It is always a better choice to under promise and over deliver.

Understand manipulation

All manipulation is an attempt to have someone meet a need. Most people do not manipulate deliberately or with ill intent – they manipulate because they do not know what their needs are or how to effectively meet them. When you know what your needs are, you can find healthy ways to meet them. The same is true for anyone in your life. Any time you feel manipulation happening, bring the need to light. It is very freeing and cleansing.

Focus on you

Many people are seeing their world through eyes of negativity, restriction and lack. Trust me when I tell you that if they have not found a way to take care of their needs, then they are not in a place to take care of yours. Expect great things from yourself. Take action to make great things happen for you. Give everyone else your blessings. They are doing the best they can.

Stephanie Florman helps professionals to see their circumstances, identify their choices and consequences and integrate spiritual solutions.

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