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NEWS OF THE COPS

THE IDEA that the cops didn't know that some of their bent officers were on the payroll of the News of the World is ludicrous.

Even when I was hacking for the paper the way that you got any information about anybody was through New Scotland Yard. All I had to do was get hold of your date of birth and I could tell you when the last time you were nabbed for passing wind in public.

Those coppers have always been as bent as a four pound note, and the idea that the top brass didn't know, let alone their colleagues is preposterous. You don't need to be Sherlock to wonder why that copper is holidaying in the Bahamas while his colleagues go to Skegness for the weekend.

Or why he's rolling in a brand new Beamer while his fellow officers are cranking up a Hillman Avenger. As you can tell, I'm talking about twenty years ago when I used to tread the London beat for the paper. I remember there was one time when they wanted to do an expose on the reggae band Aswad and before you knew it the paper's corrupt Scotland Yard contact had provided everything you wanted to know on singer Brinsley Forde including the fact that he had been in the James Bond film Diamonds Are Forever with me!

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