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SAD NEWS: Seal and Heidi Klum

THANKS A LOT, Seal! Of all the times to tell the world that you love and respect your missus, and yet you're separating from her, the superstar singer has to go and do it just before Valentine's Day. Just as guys all over the world are dreaming up lyrical couplets to drop on their sweethearts.

Now all our sweet-nothings will mean jack. You can't blame your woman if, come Valentine's, she kisses her teeth at your declaration of undying love, acknowledgement of her divinity and constant insistence of your willingness to subjugate yourself to her. You can't blame her if her reply is, ‘That's what Seal said... all I know is I'm having the house, the car and 70 percent of everything else.’

Couples who love and respect each other don't leave after years of happiness together.

Some guys have all the luck. Even before Kiss From A Rose blew him into a megastar, Seal was broader than Broadway with hits like Killer and Crazy. Then he goes and marries a supermodel! Imagine how the rest of us felt.

Seriously, though, it is a sad thing when couples split. As several of my middle class friends have done over the past four or five years.

I don't know if it's down to the recession (obviously not in Seal's case) or that mythical 'thirteen-year itch', or maybe even Viagra, but the rate of divorce has decimated our social circle. So you can imagine the pressure on me and my wife to be the last couple standing.

What annoys me the most is that the husbands always call me to tell me how reasonable they are being about the whole thing. Like Seal, their civility in abandoning their children, the mother of their children and beautiful family home after years of happy-ever-afters doesn't make sense.

One even told me he was so reasonable he was divorcing his wife sooner rather than later because if he waited three years until his daughters were out of school, it would reduce his estranged wife's chances on the singles market, considering her age.

Why do so many men have to justify their actions with nonsense?

There's nothing a woman hates more than hearing her lover say, ‘I love you, I just can't be with you'. There's nothing a man hates hearing more than his lover saying, ‘I love you, I just can't live with you'. And there's nothing that we, the celebrity watching public, hate more than seeing our superstars split up and, instead of fighting and kiss and telling it to the media, they go their separate ways amicably - declaring like Whitney Houston that they will ‘always love' each other.