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Reasons to be cheerful

PROVIDER OF NEWS: David Cameron

ACCORDING TO the government’s just published ‘happiness’ survey, black, African, Caribbean and black-Brits are a bunch of saddos.

The saddest saddos in the country. We are miserable gits. Whilst the rest of the country is having a laugh, we’re sitting there singing and dancing in church, rejoicing at funerals, forever counting our blessings, whilst moping our lot in life and wishing we were white.

If that’s true, white folks are getting a bigger kick out of life than I thought they were.

I always knew it must be gratifying to go through life with the swagger of the ruling class. Caucasians, let’s face it, are the ruling class worldwide. My Chinese, Indian, Japanese and even North Korean friends may have something to say about that in Asia, but what about the rest of the world? Including Africa.

White folks are the dons. They run tings, tings don’t run them. When you look around the globe, you can’t help concluding that it’s their world, or at least it’s not YOUR world. It left me extremely distressed and unhappy the day I realised that.

That was the day the dream of black power died for me. And ever since I’ve been a miserable git.

Black power made us proud to be black back in the ‘70s and ‘80s when the dream was still alive. If this happiness survey had been carried out then, the government would have been unable to understand why despite all the institutionalised ‘Jim Crowism’ of Britain at the time and the angry riots that ensued, we were nevertheless ecstatic in the discovery that it was OUR world too, all we had to do was claim it. That was our ‘Negro Spring’. We seized the time and then lost it.

Alas, as Egyptians are finding out, revolution ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. Not when it slips through your fingers. Even though they overthrew their great oppressor, Mubarak, little has changed in the land of the Pharoahs.

Likewise little has changed here for black, African, Caribbean and black-British people. One or two of us (myself included) have made a little change (financially) over the last 30 years but, don’t be fooled, we’re still second-class citizens, just not as second-class as the sufferah’s stylee. Equalities and Human Rights Commissioner Trevor Phillips (Simon Woolley) goes so far as to say that black Britons have gone backwards over the last ten years.

Certainly, none of us have that swagger about us that says: this country is ours. When was the last time you saw a black man or woman walking like they meant it and not because they’re required to support the England team (John Terry and all) in a citizenship test to even qualify for a passport?

So Mr Cameron, thanks for the news. Now the whole country knows that we are a miserable lot. But what was the point of this misery survey? Your government wouldn’t have gone to all this trouble to remind us that to be black is likely to be wack in a white man’s world.

Would they? Because the message I’m getting from the survey’s findings is that my happiness depends on me NOT being black.PROVIDER OF NEWS: David Cameron

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