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Jasmine experienced the good, the bad and the ugly in the famed Cyprian resort

AFTER experiencing Ibiza many years ago as a 19-year-old over excited girl - getting smashed on tequila for my first alcoholic experience and observing crazy antics by sex-mad, drunk desperados - I swore to never go down that road again. So how did I find myself in Ayia Napa last week?

Well, for the past three years, an artist/producer called Sniper had been inviting me to experience life in his native home of Cyprus. Always laughing at him, I swore I would never attend the annual summertime urban craze that takes place in Ayia Napa. Still, every year, Sniper would reach out and offer to show me "the real Cyprus".

Finally, I relented, and so jumped on a British Airways jet to the city of Larcana. When I arrived, Sniper sent a car to meet me at the airport. As soon I we got in, it was playing Sniper's music. Then, as we drove past bus stops, they were advertising Sniper's music. Then, as we zoomed past the gigantic WaterWorld Waterpark, there were massive Sniper posters. And as if that wasn't enough, as we cruised through town, we saw lots of young hip-hop fans wearing Sniper t-shirts! I couldn’t help thinking I was in a hip-hop version of the Warburton’s bread advert where there is product placement everywhere you look! (To check him out yourself, visit www.snipermusic.com)

Anyway, the car dropped us off at the 5-star Grecian Park Hotel, which was plush, marbled with a huge pool and set just outside of the main town. (I had insisted Sniper arrange somewhere where the grime music scene boys wouldn’t bump into me in my bikini-how unprofessional would that be?)

The next few days turned out to be my idea of heaven – and hell.

On our first night, Sniper and his lovely lady took myself and my fella to a traditional Cypriot village where we tasted loads of local dishes.

On our third day, the concierge called our suite and informed me there was a gift awaiting me at reception. I walked down to find a super-cool buggy that had been sent to me for the week. All black, with a solid cage and slick as hell, I was so excited to zoom it around the ocean paths. The day was made even better as we attended WaterWorld Waterpark, which 50 Cent once told me I must visit. The rides were really exciting and a great day was had. But unfortunately, the holiday bliss soon turned ugly (literally).

I tried to avoid looking at the many out-of-shape topless women with bright red burning breasts and peeling foreheads. In this day and age, it’s unfathomable that some people refuse to wear sun lotion for protection and instead fry their skin with cocoa butter! Skin cancer is not just something that happens to other people! Anyway, I calmed myself down with a delicious fish supper, where we all dismantled a huge local fresh fish called stone bass.

On another night, my boys Rampage (BBC 1Xtra) were playing at Black & White (seemingly the only R’n’B/hip-hop club to go to out there). When Rampage play, I know I will rave until sunrise – and we did.

But before we went into the club, we stood in the infamous centre square strip road watching the madness unfold. It was pure hell. Young girls and guys all staggering around drunk, looking as if they were about to throw up; ladies with practically no clothes on giggling incoherently as guys groped them as they wandered past; hen night groups plus stag night groups, plus teens that are all on heat and of the mind set that ‘what happens in Cyprus stays in Cyprus.’

Photographer to the hip-hop world Paul H and promoter Mr Play stood alongside me as we watched the horror unfolding before our eyes. But we also popped into Club Ice where DJ EZ was killing the crowd doing what he does on the decks. Then we raved with Rampage’s Mike Anthony until 6am, before we stopped by the jerk chicken stall where we had an early breakfast before hitting our 5-star beds.

Later in the trip, Sniper took us to a diamond manufacturer where I had my not very expensive jewellery valued and we watched as precious stones were turned into all kinds of expensive merchandise. I sat in the huge vault for a minute. It was the closest I was ever going to get to being surrounded by diamonds and I made the most of it!

On our last night, we heard Ms Dynamite was performing at Club Ice so we decided to brave the madness again and go down and surprise her. The club was heaving once again packed with young, naked holidayers on heat. Sniper hijacked the mic and performed some of the tracks from his newly formed 3fifty7 group of companies, including the Ayia Napa anthem with Drew Astro, and Pump It Up that features his ‘new’ artists Oxide and Neutrino – remember them?

The next morning we had a final champagne spray fight in the pool. Yes, by now, I was caught up in the foolishness. We then headed off to the airport to return to UK shores.

The conclusion? Cyrpus is a lovely island that can be either crazy party central, or more relaxed, depending on how you choose to spend your time. Both heaven and hell it’s a young, mad place that can also be classy – but only if you know where to look! Viva Cyprus – it was special!

Jasmine Dotiwala is a TV producer, director and broadcast journalist. Email her at jasmine@hiphop.com

Published: 25 July 2010
Issue: 0

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