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Having trouble sleeping? 'Blame racism'

40 WINKS: There are many factors that affect quality of sleep

MY OTHER half swears blind she doesn't snore, but how else can I explain the rumble of thunder that keeps me awake night after night? Unless it's... racism.

No, hear me out. You can't keep blaming your hubby when he swears blind that it's you keeping her awake. And, you know me, I don't snore.

Ask anybody - except my wife. Ask my brother in the States. Ask my friend in Beijing and my aunts in Lagos - they have never heard me snore. So what else could be keeping my wife awake at night?

I know what you're going to say. “Typical Adebayo, the moment something goes wrong in his life he cries 'wolf' and blames it on racism."

Don't take my word for it. Check out this yank study in the American Journal of Epidemiology about a sample of 137,000 Americans surveyed over a period of seven years about their sleep.

FACT: 37 per cent of black people don't get a good night’s kip.
28 per cent of white people don't get a good night's kip.

FACT: 42 per cent of black people in management get less than 40 winks. 26 per cent of white people in management get less than 40 winks.

CONCLUSIONS

Black people may be more affected by job strain, discrimination or harassment in the workplace and work longer hours.

Black people are more likely to do night shifts (THAT'S ME, FOLKS!) which interrupt natural sleep patterns and is linked to higher risk of heart attack, obesity and diabetes.

Black people may also be more stressed because they have a harder work ethic (THAT'S ME, FOLKS!) because they want to succeed against all odds over all the discrimination working against them. And because they tend to live in noisier neighbourhoods (THAT'S ME, FOLKS!)

Those are the facts. So fellas, don't blame your missus' for snoring and keeping you awake, even though it is as loud as a foghorn.

Blame racism. After all, it will be the death of us.

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