I was understandably distraught.

Not only was I, along with many others around the world, livid over the murder of George Floyd but in addition to this, during this extremely sensitive time in fresh Black History, my white friend who I considered my best friend in the entire world, laughed brazenly as she compared me to a white person. Wasn’t she nice? It wasn’t the first time I’ve heard this comparison and I’m sure it won’t be the last.

However, as tensions were mounting and I tearfully questioned my identity, I realised something… This is not my defect! I look in the mirror every day and can clearly see that I am beautifully and proudly black and the racist experiences I’ve endured have certainly amplified that. There is nothing to call into question about my ethnicity.

The real question is – why does society feel there is only one way to be black?

As I pondered this thought, I remembered that the same friend described me to others as her “posh friend”. Indicating her belief that my ability to articulate myself so well veers more towards the “white side of me”. How deliciously insulting. However, lets be honest. It isn’t just white people who think this way.

Years ago, I ventured into a life of a pescatarian.

When I declared this to one of my black male friends, his response was “how can you be black, and you don’t eat chicken?”. Ironically, this friend later adopted the role of a vegan once it became on trend, but his point was incredibly honest and undoubtably ignorant.

This is the problem. This invisible criterion every Black British person must attain to be checked approvingly into the black community by various cultures.

This invisible criterion every Black British person must attain to be checked approvingly into the black community by various cultures.

One of the issues we face is black representation. We spent a tedious amount of time being underrepresented in the media and now that we are, we are uneducated drug dealers, criminals and all live in under-privileged areas. So, when a black person deviates from this regurgitated narrative, they simply aren’t black enough.

Let me be clear, I’m very aware that this unfortunately may be the narrative for some but let me also be clear that it is not the narrative for all. Did anyone ever think that perhaps to “act black” in fact may stem from racially bias archetypes that hold very little consideration to one’s social upbringing, individuality and characteristics?

Or that to “act black” was put in place to create assumptions of poor telephone manner, a volatile record or assumed inexperience thus, “not suitable for this position” when applying for jobs or promotions?

Whether from the countryside or the streets, whether well-spoken or uninformed, whether coq au vin or curry goat, we need to stop accepting that the stereotypes are the only way to be and start celebrating who we simply are as people.

In any case, black and proud.