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Everybody loves a suntan

SUN CRAZY: Many are risking their health in a bid to turn a darker shade of pale

ONLY MAD dogs and Englishmen stay out in the noon day sun. And no matter what it costs, some Englishmen are determined to prove that anything a mad dog can do they can do better.

Even on pain of death by skin cancer!

As Roy Ayers sang, “Everybody loves the sunshine"…….especially white folks.

But in trying to turn a darker shade of pale, a lot of Europeans and some people of African descent too have unwittingly burned themselves to death. Now call me old fashioned, but unless your name is Shadrach, Meshach or Abednego, you're going to get burned if you play with fire. The sun is fire.

As the occasional beachside incineration doesn't seem to put Englishmen off from stripping on a hot day, those clever boffins from King's College, London University reckon they have come up with a perfectly safe way to cremate yourself in the sunshine.

It's a pill to prevent sunburn that they reckon will be ready in five years time.

The clever clogs at the university noticed whilst they were scuba diving on government grants that coral reefs have a way of protecting themselves from the sun's ultra violet rays.


I'm not sure if one of the scientists actually shouted ‘Eureka!' or whether they simply went, ‘Ker-ching!' but they quickly decided that they could transfer this ‘natural sunscreen' into a little white pill that will enable a Norwegian to sit in the sun until he is the colour of a southern Sudanese tribesman. And you don't even have to live underwater in a tropical ocean to qualify.

If they succeed, it will be all about the money. The first person who manages to find a way of turning a white man into a black man will be rich beyond their wildest dreams (not as rich as the first person who comes up with a way of turning a black man into a white man, though). It will be the new Viagra. It will have people queuing round the block for miles to try it out. But who is going to be the guinea pig?

Who is going to be the one to sit in the sun all day to see if it works? Where are Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego when you need them?

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