Friends and colleagues remember The Real McCoy star as a private man with an exceptional comedy gift

THE NEWS of his death on October 18 sent shock waves through the world of British comedy. But to those who knew him, Felix Dexter’s decision to keep news of his illness out of the public domain, was no surprise.

Described by many as an immensely “private man,” Dexter maintained his privacy right to the end, only telling a few close friends and former colleagues that he had multiple myeloma, a form of bone cancer – and only informing many of them when he had just weeks left to live.

Amongst the friends that Dexter requested to see in his final days was his former Real McCoy colleague Leo Muhammad. Describing Dexter as a “professional comedian,” Muhammad says that behind the scenes, his former colleague didn’t give much away.

PRIVATE

“What’s really unfolding now is how intensely private he was,” Muhammad told The Voice. “When a person is able to perform in front of cameras or in front of large audiences, you can sometimes miss the fact that that person is actually intensely private; the type of person who finds themselves alone in a crowd. 

“To me, that was Felix. He swore those of us he knew about his illness to secrecy, because he didn’t want people to know.”

Sharing similar sentiments was comedian Judith Jacob, who was also invited to visit Dexter at the hospice where he spent his final weeks. 

“When we did The Real McCoy, Felix was there, but not there,” Jacob recalls. “In fact, when I interviewed him for a talk show I did, I said to him: ‘When we were on The Real McCoy, you did your thing and we did ours.’ He said jokingly, ‘Were you jealous of me?’ I said ‘Yes, I thought you were way too special’ and he said, ‘Yes, I was special!’ Of course, we all laughed. But that’s just how he was.”

She added: “I think a lot of those genius minds are happy to give you all of themselves when they’re on stage, but when they come off the stage, they retreat into themselves. That’s what made him who he was. He was also incredibly generous and I miss him terribly.”

Though many in the black community will remember Dexter for his hilarious Real McCoy characters – including Douglas, the posh ‘roots and culture’ lawyer; Samuel, the stern London Underground ticket collector; and Nathaniel, the Nigerian cab driver who was “studying to be an accountant” – the St. Kitts-born star, who studied law before making his foray into comedy, boasted a wealth of credits outside the black comedy circuit.

Having established himself on the mainstream circuit in TV shows including Absolutely Fabulous, Bellamy’s People and more recently Citizen Khan, it’s no wonder the tributes that poured in following the comedian’s death came from a host of British comics, including Paul Whitehouse, Simon Pegg and Matt Lucas.

An entertainer not consigned to the ‘black circuit’, Dexter also demonstrated his acting talents, starring alongside Hollywood star Christian Slater in the West End production of One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest in 2006. And younger audiences will know him – well, his voice – from the BBC animation Tinga Tales.

Dexter’s mass comedy appeal earned him favour with audiences of all races.

“When The Real McCoy started and we were all building a black comedy circuit, Felix had already been out there on the mainstream comedy circuit, at places like Jongleurs and The Comedy School,” Muhammad recalls. 

“When he was invited onto The Real McCoy, he was already a professional comedian and he came on to portray some of the characters he’d developed on the mainstream circuit. 

“There’s no question that he managed to bridge the gap between the black and white comedy circuits. He was accepted on both sides.”

Also praising her colleague’s talent was comedian Llewella Gideon, who spoke to Dexter a week before he died.

“Felix’s comedy was intelligent and his character observations were acute and on point. His comedy was accessible to all and loved by many. He was a total original and has left a comedy space that will not be filled.”

ILLNESS

Considering why Dexter might have chosen to keep his illness a secret until his final days, comedian and broadcaster Eddie Nestor, who was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma in 2007, says he can empathise with his former Real McCoy colleague’s decision.

“I believe that everyone has the right to be as private as they choose to be,” says Nestor, who, following a six-month course of chemotherapy, went into remission later in 2007. 

“Since I had cancer, I found out about a lot of people in the public eye who had also had cancer, but they never made it public knowledge – whereas I blogged about my experience. When you get that diagnosis, you have a right to deal with it as you see fit.”

Having also visited Dexter in his final weeks, Nestor says his friend was funny right until the end.

“When I went there, Felix had four women – all ex-girlfriends – there looking after him. I decided to ask him: ‘What do you do when they’re all in the room talking to each other, because there must be some things you’d rather they didn’t discuss between them!’ 

“He said: ‘Eddie, when they’re about to say something and I’m not quite sure where it’s gonna go, I just [pretend I’m in pain and go] ‘aaaaah, aaaah!’ 

“That is when the tears came to my eyes – I properly laughed! Even as he was dying, he still made me cry with laughter.”

Keith Palmer, founder of The Comedy School – of which Dexter was an associate and patron – knew the comic for over 25 years. He too said Dexter made him laugh whilst on his death bed.

“Not knowing what I should bring for him, I decided to take a bottle of Lucozade and a bottle of water. Felix still managed to make light of the situation. He looked me in the eye and quietly said: ‘You brought me water. This is a very valuable commodity if you are in a desert. I will now use all my powers to imagine that I am in a desert, even though I’m not. But thank you for the drinks anyway’.”

Referring to Dexter’s ‘secrecy’ Palmer suggested that the many tribute articles that have said the comic died at the age of 52, may not be correct.

“The one thing I will say is that it was interesting that he allowed the world to believe he was 52 – and I’ll just leave it like that!”

After pressing Palmer for more information, he said: “It’s a possibility he was in his fifties, to some he might have been 55, he might also have been 60. His age was variable!”

What is without question is that Dexter’s contribution to comedy is immeasurable. Though his talent touched audiences of all walks of life, it is undoubtedly his appearances on The Real McCoy that countless black audiences hold dear to their hearts.

Thanks to his many characters and catchphrases – perhaps most notably Nathaniel’s infamous “what are you talking about?” – Dexter found fame as one of black Britain’s best-loved comedians. He remained active on the comedy circuit right up until August this year, when he gave his final performance.

“I booked Felix early in August for a private function,” recalls Palmer.

“He was poorly at the time and I really believed he had a very bad back – which is what he told me. So I was grateful to him for being so professional to ensure that the show went on. I didn’t realise at the time that this would turn out to be his last ever live performance.”

Speaking to The Voice in 2006, Dexter said: “The job of a comedian is to communicate with the audience in front of you. 

“Regardless of what your comedy imagination is, you have to communicate with your audience. I think I’ve always had the ability to adapt what I do to each audience.”
That he did – and his comedic genius will not be forgotten.