MEET IVAN and Shahlaa Almeida Rosa who have been married for three years and together for six.

Ivan is from West London but was raised in Portugal. His mother was originally from Guinea Bissau and his father is from Cape Verde. Shahlaa hails from South London. Her heritage is Grenadian and native American.

The couple who both work in the entertainment industry, now have two little girls. Before meeting Shahlaa however, Ivan had not been in a relationship for eight years.

They met online and spoke for two months before dating in real life, bonding over their love of hip hop.

“After a year of terrible Tinder dates we matched and it was at the point where I just about to come off because I was fed up,” Shahlaa explained.

They had an instant connection on their first date.

“We spoke for hours, they rang the bell for last orders and we haad even missed the last train,” Ivan shared with The Voice.

Family, culture and heritage are important to this couple. Shahlaa had made a conscious effort to settle down with a black man, but she struggled with her identity during childhood.

“Growing up in school black girls did not like me, they used to be like you’re not black because I have curly hair. That self-hate started really young because of other people’s opinion of me and that’s why I kind of distanced myself from the black community,” Shahlaa explained.

She is also from a Muslim household, and has dated non-black people in the past. However. working in the predominantly white media industry, she became more aware of her culture. Eventually, she decided that having black children was important to her.

“I think I just grew into being really proud of my blackness, whereas when I was younger the white is right commercials tainted my love for myself. As I got older, I just found a real love for the black community and black culture,” Shahlaa shared.

Making it official

“We carried on dating for a bit, we kissed on our third date and then he just assumed I was his girlfriend and I was like you have to ask me,” Shahlaa shared.

Ivan asked shortly after on Boxing Day, four months after they matched on Tinder. Then Ivan invited Shahlaa to Portugal to meet his mum.

The couple had their first child, River in 2018. Shahlaa found adjusting to mum life hard.

“I’ve always known I wanted to be a mum, but I didn’t realise how much my lifestyle was going to change. There was a bit of resentment towards him because I felt like his life hadn’t changed as drastically,” Shahlaa shared.

Before having a baby, busy bee Shahlaa was working as a teacher and freelancing as a presenter and host. Swapping gigs for night feeds was challenging.

Ivan also remembers this time as being very strenuous.

“I think for her, me going to work was a break,” he explained.

“I’m coming home tired from work after waking up in the night but I was taking over because she needed a break but, sometimes I felt like ‘when do I rest – I’m exhausted too?’.”

Shahlaa gave birth to her second child just last month. This time she wants to take a different approach.

“As much as I want to be a mum, I still want to pursue my career and I think this time I’m trying to just enjoy it a little bit more and know that my career is not going anywhere,” she told The Voice.

Communication has helped them get through this time. They’re also more open with family and friends about needing support.

Favourite things

Shahlaa’s favourite thing about her partner is the way he listens to her.

“He actually listens and responds. I really appreciate that because for me talking about something is how I process it and come to a solution,” she told The Voice.

Ivan’s favourite thing about Shahlaa can be a double-edged sword.

“She does tell me when I’m slacking which then pushes me to do what I need to do,” he explained.

“Sometimes I hate it because I don’t want to hear it but it’s good to hear that.”

Tying the knot

The couple got married in 2018 – the same year their daughter was born. They had planned to get married that year anyway, but after finding out about River they moved the wedding up and tied the knot a month before the due date.

“He comes from a Catholic family, my immediate family is Muslim and the rest is Christian. Though we got married at a registry office and it wasn’t a religious ceremony, it was important for us that all our family were together as one,” she shared.

Their South West London nuptials were perfect for them. It reflected both of their home towns. They hired an Airbnb for their reception, and according to Shahlaa, their wedding was a bit like a house party.

The couple admit that they couldn’t be sure they were ready for marriage, but they were committed to making it work.

“We’ve talked about that since. I’ve read a lot about how couples should go to therapy before they get married and I would recommend that because I think you learn so much about yourself and your partner,” Shahlaa told The Voice.

The Voice is excited to see what the future holds for Ivan and Shahlaa. You can follow their creative journeys onlone at The Wire Tap and on Shahlaa’s personal Instagram profile.