WHO WOULD have thought Thomas Markle and Offset would have something in common.
One, an ex-Hollywood lighting director and father to one of the most famous women in the world, and the other, a member of rap supergroup Migos and 1/2 of what used to be hip hop’s hottest couple.
No matter how far away their two worlds are, both men have one thing in common: the ability to use public humiliation and emotional manipulation towards the women they claim to love. And the support they’ve received highlights an even more concerning issue about the lack of accountability amongst men and its acceptance in society.
Let’s start with Offset, the rapper who is married to even bigger rapper, Cardi B. Their relationship came to a halt when Cardi shared an Instagram video on Dec 5, announcing that she is separating from the T-Shirt rapper. This follows rumours that he attempted to cheat on her with fellow rapper Cuban Doll, which was revealed in private Instagram messages – the latest in a series of rumoured infidelities during the course of their marriage.
Whilst Cardi has exhibited nothing but grace declaring that she has nothing but love and respect for the father of their child, Offset decided to blame the public for the decline of their marriage, commenting “ya’ll won” on Cardi’s video, and has made a series of videos and appearances in a bid to win Cardi back.
From appearing on stage with rapper 21 Savage as they encouraged the crowd to chant ‘Cardi take Offset back’, to him interrupting Cardi’s set at Rolling Loud, where he publicly apologised to her mid-performance, his actions of “love” have been nothing but selfish and extremely cringe-worthy.
Alongside his actions, many famous men – including T.I, rapper The Game, and comedian Lil Duval, have claimed Cardi should take Offset back and give him another chance, with The Game stating: “how do you think marriages survived back in the day? It wasn’t because someone moved on from every situation or little incident.”
Reducing infidelity to a “situation” or “little incident” highlights the decline of the sanctity of marriage in itself. Better yet, the utter lack of disregard for Cardi’s feelings and emotional turmoil she’s facing doesn’t seem to be discussed much, as many are using their energy and Twitter fingers to sympathise and defend Offset.
To use social media and his morally-questionable rapper friends to force feed this ‘I want Cardi back’ narrative is an example of emotional manipulation that must be acknowledged and discussed.
Men who don’t give women the time to heal and have space and instead bombard them with text messages, appearances and public pleas don’t do this from a place of sincerity – it’s from a place of control and fear that the further that person gets away from you, the harder it is to get them back.
This has been shown by another equally toxic man in the form of Thomas Markle who has gone to the lowest of the lows to gain the attention and affection of his daughter, Meghan Markle. In his latest attempt to get into the Duchess’ good graces, he made an appearance on ITV’s Good Morning Britain this week, where he described his daughter as “controlling” and called her out for “ghosting him.”
He said: “I am disappointed by it. I’m not sure why it’s happening… I have been trying to reach out for several weeks, every day I try to text her, but haven’t received anything back. All families, royal or otherwise, are the same and should be together at the holidays.”
If Mr. Markle was truly trying to repair his relationship with Meghan, would appearing on Good Morning Britain and speaking to Piers Morgan – a man who despises Meghan because she too won’t return his calls – be the best way forward?
One may argue that he is at his last tether and a public appeal might be his last hope. But is a man who continues to partake in a series of publicity stunts and is feeding into a media circus which is hell bent on demonising his own daughter, one to be trusted?
For me the answer is no. Call me a pessimist, but this too reeks of toxic male behaviour and a manipulative attempt to embarrass Meghan into submission with these public declarations of desperation.
So there you have it, two men in very different situations – one appealing for the attention of his wife, and one for the love of his daughter. Both are from very different backgrounds, of different races and different circumstances. But the fact that they both use similar tactics in order to get what they want from women is something that should be called out for what it is.
The behaviour is toxic and should be labelled as such.