“Do you want an HIV test?” asked the nurse

Her question took me by surprise. I was only at a sexual health clinic to support my friend who was there to get a check-up. I thought about it, and decided that I didn’t need to be tested for HIV because I was in a relationship. So I politely declined and waited for my friend’s appointment to be over.

I continued to wait. A few moments later, a different nurse came over asked me again if I wanted to get tested for HIV.

In the end I agreed to a test. I thought I had nothing to worry about because HIV was something that happened to other people and could never happen to me. But two weeks later my life was turned upside down when I found out I was HIV positive. My soul left my body and I froze completely. The doctor told me I could live a normal and healthy life but I didn’t believe him.

As difficult as it was to find out I was HIV positive, I am so grateful that I said yes to an HIV test. I didn’t have any symptoms and might have never known that I was living with HIV. The sooner you know your HIV status, the sooner you can do something about it and get on treatment if needed to stay healthy and avoid passing the virus on to anyone else.

It’s important to know that anyone diagnosed with HIV in the UK can access free treatment and support. I take just two pills a day which keeps me healthy and means I will live a normal lifespan. The treatment works by supressing the level of HIV in my blood and means that I can’t pass on HIV to anyone. 

HIV has not stopped me from living my life – but the stigma and judgement has got in the way. When I was diagnosed with HIV in 2009, I struggled and didn’t tell anyone outside of my family and friends for a long time. But I eventually got tired of looking at my HIV status and thinking “Why has this happened to me?” I started to connect with people around the world who were living with HIV and realised that there’s nothing to be ashamed of. I take my medication, I can’t pass on HIV and I have nothing to worry about. My life won’t be limited because of the activists who came before me that fought for treatment.

There is far too much judgement around HIV. Too often, the response to someone talking about living with HIV is “How did you catch it? As an HIV positive person, I can tell you there is no compassion in this question.

It is too often used to make a moral judgement on someone. The truth is that HIV is just a virus and it doesn’t discriminate. Anyone can be affected by HIV.

I recently started a Tik Tok and Instagram account to share my experience to help other women living with HIV feel less alone. If anyone told me when I was diagnosed that one day I would tell the world I was HIV positive I would have laughed. I’m so proud of how far I have come. I share my story for women living with HIV who are afraid to say it out loud. Everyone should know there is life after diagnosis and it can be happy and long. You can have HIV negative children. You can have relationships and find love. 

A lot of people message me who have just tested positive for HIV. I always reassure them that they will be okay. It feels incredible to be there for people who have experienced the same thing as you and help them on the journey of coming to terms with an HIV diagnosis.

I wish more women living with HIV felt like they could speak openly about their story. It would help people feel less alone and help people across the world to feel less shame and get tested.

My message to you this National HIV Testing Week is to test because it’s the only way to know if you have HIV. Test negative and end worries and doubt. Test positive and you can enjoy a long, healthy life – by testing early and starting treatment in time.

Order a confidential, free and easy HIV test via Starts With Me.