ON AVERAGE, we spend over two hours a day on social media from TikTok to Facebook and everything in between scrolling through pictures, reading through comments making comments, walking away with depression and anxiety, absorbing cyber bullying – all because we’re in fear of missing out, putting ourselves under the weight of unrealistic expectations. 

We spend so much time on platforms that we come away with a negative body image and our sleep patterns become unhealthy. 

There is an addiction that we will not admit to, all because we want to keep up. 

Much of what we experience is as a result of what people have said or done to us.  How do we move forward? How do we wean ourselves off the unhealthy things that we feed on?

Do you know on a bus or train journey every stop is important? Every junction, every turn, every roundabout is an important part of the journey.  It is the same thing for the route to our wholeness – every stop is important and one of those is forgiveness.

How many times have we played back the hurtful things the teacher said about our ability or our intelligence? How many times have we played back the hurt inflicted by someone we loved dearly? Inevitably it is always someone who means the most to us which is why it hurts so much.

Listen to these words from the Bible – Matthew chapter 18 verse 21. Peter says “Jesus Lord, when someone has sinned against me how many times must I  forgive him? Once, twice, as many as seven times?” 

Jesus replied and said you must not forgive seven times but 70×7”. We hear that and think outrageous! Don’t you know the hurt that they caused me?  Do you know the pain that I’ve been through? You often hear people talk about how not forgiving others is the equivalent of you drinking poison and hoping somebody else will die. It’s time to let the poison go… it’s time to live again.

There is a story told of a South African speaker and coach Candice Mama, a young woman whose father was murdered in apartheid South Africa by a police officer. Her family had the opportunity to meet with the policeman Eugene Kock years later. 

Many of us would have been well within our rights to hit out and say whatever was in our heart but Candice decided she would forgive Eugene. 

She said “I just refused to allow him to take away my joy”. Candice now takes that experience and helps to work with other people who have dealt with trauma and loss. Her pain has become somebody else’s medicine because she made a decision to forgive. 

I remember when my late father Kayode Karimu Olarewaju was assassinated, getting a call that the young man who had pulled the trigger, who by the way had been taken in by my parents because he was destitute, had been apprehended.

I was in London when I got the call to ask what I wanted to happen to the young man? I thought about it and said ‘Let him go… leave him to the authorities’. I figured he’d done what he came to do and nothing I did to him could bring back my father. I honestly chose to forgive. Was it easy? No. Was it helpful? Absolutely. 

Here’s my challenge to you. There is no shortage of people who would’ve broken your heart, maligned your name, cheated you, lied to you. The list is long. Will you dare to forgive, release yourself and not allow anyone to steal your joy?

Muyiwa Olarewaju OBE is Station Director at Premier Gospel Radio, a TV & Radio Broadcaster, and Principal of gospel group Muyiwa & Riversongz