Reverend Jide Macauley is a 55-year-old, openly gay British-Nigerian man. He is also the founding pastor and CEO of House of Rainbow CIC, which makes society safer and more inclusive for all. You can find him on social media sharing catchphrases like GAY – God Adores You.

Coming out

I came out as gay in 1994 when I was 29 years old after being married to a beautiful, amazing woman for three years.

When I first came out, it was very challenging. I struggled a lot, even when I tried to keep everything quiet and silent.

I was part of a church community where I was also in leadership. When I told my ex-wife – it immediately impacted my leadership and all my roles in the church. I was excommunicated.

Religion and homophobia

Christians can be lazy, to the point where they do not study.

They’ll come to me and say the Bible says something when they haven’t done the work.

I have done plenty of theological study and training to understand the background of how verses came into scripture.

The church has lost so many incredible and amazing people, and it’s not even because they feel the Bible condemns them.

It’s because of the way the church has treated them.

House of Rainbow

I started House of Rainbow in 2006. It really started with me, reconciling my religion with my sexuality over time.

Our work has been to support LGBT people, their families, allies, and friends. We have an open door policy and everyone is welcome here.

We have worked with black parents as well, but not many come forward.

When they do, I remind them – you have taught your children to be truthful all their lives.

You have told them that if anything is bothering them, they should come and talk to you.

So when they come out don’t deny them.

Protecting children

I certainly read, at a very young age that if a man has sex with another man, it is an abomination and both of them shall be put to death. 

This is chapter and verse, so just imagine how destructive that could be for a 13 year old.

I don’t think parents should allow their children to read the Bible on their own. It’s a beautiful book but it requires knowledge and good interpretation.

If John was to kiss Jessica, the adults around them would not flinch. If anything they would celebrate. However, if John kissed James the adults would tell them boys don’t do that.

I still remember being scolded by my Grandma for standing with my hands on my hips. She told me to stand like a boy, because no grandchild of hers would be a sissy.

My mum comforted me and reassured me later on, but I am 55 years old and still remember that day so clearly.

Children can’t come out to their parents just like that. They need to see them react positively to LGBT issues.

If you are a homophobic parent, even if your child is not LGBT, they will carry that behaviour outside. When they see another LGBT identified child, they will use the language you do.

If I could speak to my younger self, I would say you are going to be fabulous and you are going to be fine.

You don’t have to please people from your culture or religion. Be yourself. It is difficult but it is doable and one day your work will impact other young people like you.

As told to Shanae Dennis